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Here’s what’s happening.
That lease notice came through the mail slot of my front door in a cold, predictable, and business-like fashion. I knew it was coming.
My landlords decided it was time to drain me just a little bit more.
Hey, it’s a nice apartment, but it ain’t that nice.
So, after only 6+ years in Philadelphia, I’m moving back to Missouri.
And I hate it.
It’s almost as if the forces of nature are pushing me to do a new thing.
My life is consumed with packing tape and bubble wrap and sharpies and boxes and the Goodwill store.
From an economic point of view, it’s a smart decision. It’s WAY cheaper to live in Missouri. This farm is where my grandmother fell in love and where my mom and her twin sister were born. Ten years ago, my ex and I built a big, beautiful house out here, in the middle of nowhere, thinking we’d host kids and grandkids, have a big garden, and sip wine watching the sunset. After two years, he realized he hated the country. He didn’t like me all that much either, so he bought a new Harley and left.
Whatever. 🙄
My brother has been in the house since, taking care of things while I’ve explored the East Coast. We’ve already proven we can coexist peacefully and we can share expenses, so it’s a win-win. With 220 acres, fields of corn and soybeans surround us. There are two Bald Eagles who live in the woods. We hear coyotes scream about their kill at night. Deer arrogantly saunter through the backyard, bobcats are starting to make their presence known, and too many raccoons invade the cat food in the shed. The nearest neighbor is a mile down a gravel road. It’s RURAL. VERY RURAL.
Problem is, Missouri is deep red right now… there are way too many low information voters who will pull the lever for the Orange Orangutan. UGH. And there is no Trader Joes. 😂
But as long as I have my laptop, I can work from anywhere. (Yes, we have internet in the sticks, but soon, we’ll have FIBER! Thanks, Joe Biden). Plus, I’ll be in the center of the country with a major airport just 2 hours away.
And the dogs miss me. I miss them, too. Look at these faces! ❤️❤️
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The harsh reality is there’s nothing in Philly for me anymore.
Tim had the nerve to die 3 years ago, leaving me to navigate alone in his city. My two girlfriends moved away. My volunteer gig with the abandoned cemetery went south (as non-profits can under weak leadership). I lost a big client to ageism/nepotism. (That still stings.)
And, I leave behind someone very dear to me, but he’s not quite ready for Susan full time. But then, who is? 😂😂
For some of you, moving to a new place might have been exciting and you looked forward to a new life, new location, new job, new friends.
This move doesn’t feel exciting for me. It feels like I’m going backwards.
I came out here full of enthusiasm. I squeezed everything I could into my little Ford Focus, shipped a few things, and bought the rest when I got here. In only 6 short years, I’ve accumulated TOO. MUCH. STUFF.
Why did I end up with 7 sets of sheets? 14 pillows? Enough dishes to host a dinner party for 12… except my apartment won’t hold that many. And my houseplants? I simply can’t leave them behind. (You plant people will understand this.) Like this little baby… it’s Moonstone succulent that I started from a “leaf”. I’m taking her back to Missouri.
Let’s talk about moving companies. A U-Box from U-Haul looked right. But the on-line customer service from some low energy dude named Phillip was so incredibly shitty, I looked up U-Haul competitors. I stupidly gave my phone number and email to a benign looking web site. Then the fun started.
Emails, texts, and calls from at least 5 different companies. I eventually settled on one. And the guy who kept calling me “hun” isn’t the one. 🙄
Now, it’s time to sell some of my cheap, throwaway furniture. So I turn to Facebook Marketplace. There was a lot of competition for a $15 microwave.
The two end tables were purchased by a slightly crazed Trumper. We chatted and she realized I was NOT a Trumper. She became very animated, ranting loudly and defensively about abortions at 9 months, how Trump is his own man, and that Obama is secretly running the country. 😳 (Maybe she’s from Missouri?) She said she could tell I was a writer because I responded to her nutty comments with kindness, patience, and complete sentences. I gave her a hug, told her to read Project 2025, and have a nice life.
Make America Smart Again. Please.
Sooooo, this is what I’m doing with my time these days. The truck shows up the end of July. Between now and then, I’m hoping to sightsee in Boston, and see the historic Greenwood Cemetery in NYC. Plus a few other spots in Philly.
I’ll move back to my home base, unpack, regroup, and figure out what’s next.
Right now, I have no idea.
We are, all of us, in one kind of transition or another, big or small, because...life changes. Yes, an intentional double entendre. I penned a few words in a recent post, "Shift Happens" that might shed a little more light for you and others. Here's a quick link:
https://garygruber.substack.com/p/shift-happens
Awwwwwww, Susan, that is a big change! It seems daunting right now, but maybe there’s something amazing around the corner for you!
I hope everything goes smoothly and that you find your place on this earth comfortable back in Missouri! I believe they have medicinal, and maybe even recreational, weed there! Lol! JK!
Chin to the wind, always, my beautiful friend! ♥️💙👊🏼