If this deconverted childless dog lady atheist had a non-dysfunctional extended family, I might fly back to the midwest and join in. But I do not have the temperament. My Trump loving stepdad and brother love him. My brother is an evangelical Christian, etc., etc. My sisters have their own families, live closer, and wisely see our parents in small doses. Similar to you, childhood Christmases were happy because of my grandparents and I am forever grateful to them for loving me and making their home a safe place for me. Your old xmas photos look a lot like mine. I appreciate your post so much. I find forced merriment difficult and depressing. My dog and I will be here alone, and I just try to make the time between now and around mid January go away without noticing. We go forth we go forth. Happy hellidays from L.A.
Ah, Jules....I am SO with you! I have a friend whose chant this time of year is "COME ON JANUARY!" 😂 So, instead let's be good to ourselves this time of year... sort of our personal spa season. HA!
I’m so glad you’re still in Alaska! Didn’t realize it was long term! Hope you’ve a neat air B&B or good friends to stay with. I hear you Susan… I feel it too. It’s a kind of grief for all those happy times, our grandparents and Santa, my kids when they were little. When Thksg had its own month, own respect! Your old photos took me back… so much like the ones I have. My son is handling 🦃day and my daughter and fam will probably visit for Christmas. Joyful but stressful. I don’t do gifts or stockings anymore. They’re all grown up…the magic is gone! That’s what I miss the most. Keep pampering your well being, keep some hope, enjoy Alaska, keep writing, dear friend! Much love to you!🥰❤️
JOAN! I'm glad I'm not alone. My good (and much younger) friend landed her first job outta medical school in Anchorage as a colorectal surgeon. I'm "hiding out" here till the end of the year. When I lived in Philly, she lived across the hall...she helped me every step of the way when Tim got so sick. I treasure her. She understands about the holidays as well.
Funny you mentioned stockings..I used to love to hunt for the things that went in them...and always a toothbrush and toothpaste...the running joke. But honestly, my daughter has her kids and husband and they are all so busy, I hardly ever see them. While that bothers me, I know I'm not the only person at my age who feels a bit sidelined. So I've decided to make my own adventures. Who knows what next year will bring! Let's go to Italy! HUGS TO YOU, JOAN! Much love back!
Yes! I’m in! Won’t even have to get Christmas decor out…bonus! Love your attitude…make your own kind of holiday! Life is supposed to be an adventure…get as many as you can, girl! I love that your friend is Colorectal surgeon…come full circle from losing your Tim…what a story that could be!
I am more of a grinch than you, Susan. I want the endless, wasteful, tacky, tasteless, gaudy lights BANNED. Those displaying them receive a heavy fine and their removal and destruction.
I want the Christmas music to be limited to the Grinch that stole Christmas and Bing Crosby.
I want the entire narrative of Santa Claus gone. It is a subconscious plant on the part of organized religion. To get you to believe and have faith and things that don't exist.
Being the so called celebration of Christ birth, there should be zero retail activity associated with it. Especially the retail of worthless, planet killing shiny plastic junk. I'm positive that's what Christ would do.
I'll just stop there before I alienate myself from every possible social circle on the platform. I'm pretty sure everyone in the room understand where I'm coming from anyway .....😜
If nothing else, just stop with the lights, please ??🙏
I know you won't be able to refrain from Amazon Walmart, just give me that one thing 🤞🏻
I'd be happy with just a huge feast of home cooked food. Everyone bring a dish and share it. I'm so over all the fake and forced holiday crap. And yes....the garish lights and massive yard displays. JUST STOP!
Someone once said that the times are so intense that I rarely see anyone fall asleep in church anymore! It’s sad to admit that, even though I have lots to be thankful for, I dread the months of November and December too! I start my dreadful attitude when I see Christmas displays in June and July! Just a bit premature if you ask me! I suppose the word I’d use is commercialized! Guess I won’t win the Norman Vincent Peale award this year again!
Thank you Dave...I do realize how lucky I am to have all these photos. My grandparents had so many and I scanned almost all of them to preserve for future generations. They may not be interested in them now, but perhaps someday, it will be a valuable connection.
Susan Niemann: This will be my 76th Xmas -- gets kinda old.
Actually, even as a practicing, lifelong Catholic, my values are increasingly secular and pagan moral.
Armando doesn't care for any holidays, period.
Armando loves to engage with people he loves; to listen to classical music or jazz; to look at great art (e.g., Jacob Lawrence); to read philosophy and literature (mainly in German).
But with people I love, I can spend all year with no holidays.
I love your photos, and feel sorrow and empathy that grew up in a household with fear. I am very glad for your love with Tim, even as I miss him.
You are such a giving, sharing, empathic person, that I am so happy to meet, even on a platform, where our friendship grows.
I’m glad you understand. There is joy to be had 365 days a year, not just one day… travel helps me. It’s stimulating, yet also calming. And, I have such good memories of precious grandparents who loved me so deeply. It’s our connections to each other and the world that truly bind us! Thanks for being here. I appreciate it. 💙💙
Susan Niemann: 'Stack has its faults, many of them, BUT 'Stack has mediated my acquiring so many good friends, near the top of which is you.
You not only share the core values, but you have deep love and empathy and inner goodness that makes me treasure friendship with you, in the hope sometime to meet.
Beautiful post with sad details 😢 Don't worry about Christmas 2024. Mrs. Santa is sending you a cozy present from California next week via The North Pole. The Canadian postal strike is a minor glitch 😳 😅 Enjoy the wilds of Alaska! It's so mind-clearing and gorgeous 😍 ✨️ 💕
I was wondering if you were in Alaska. I'm so glad to hear you're putting feet up and chilling. I've spent a great deal of time in the mountains of Colorado at my daughter's place. I love when I can walk through a cloud. And the wildlife. Cool beans.
Your story is very nostalgic. I miss my Italian grandmother and her amazing cooking. We had big family Christmases. Dad usually got drunk and knocked the tree over every year. This year I'm having my immediate family all together. One is coming for two weeks. It's been a rough year of shit hitting the fan. Years of asshole behaviors has come to an end. I want grace, forgiveness, and kindness to be on their lips towards each other. Or I'm going to loose my shit. Christ on cracker.
I'm not ever watching the news again. I can barely read it anymore. I'm going to focus on these goddamn tangled tree lights for now. And do some fucking yoga to chill the fuck out. My therapist suggested it.🤣🤣🤣 I'm happy you're in a good place. Love you 😍 💗
😂😂 Ah, my sister! It is absolutely fucking time for everyone to start being cool. I know I've had enough. Alaska is where my doctor friend from Philly landed a job...we were neighbors when she was in residency and helped me with Tim when he was so sick. SWe've been friends ever since and this is the perfect place for me to escape. So, your dad got drunk and know kid over the tree?🤦♀️ GIRL...save that story. We gotta lot to talk about! 😘 Love ya! And thanks!
Such a lovely text, Susan, thanks. To your memory, I will add midnight church. I was no longer Christian by middle school but even as an adult, I always enjoyed the fellowship of the beautiful service, sanctuary and choir, and especially that whole "Silent Night" idea of the quiet sublime.
I've spent so much time trying to figure out why the holidays are such a sentence now. The only good holidays for me were as a mom with all the control. Now, it's someone else's show (my kids and their kids) and I'm kind of on the sidelines. I should be ok with that but somehow, it still feels like an arms race that I can't pass up, because of some weird ideas about my grandkids' memories. It feels good to read your readers' comments, at least I'm not alone. So I offer one of my most-used aphorisms to this great community: COME ON JANUARY!!! (Ok, January 1-19.)
"Now, it's someone else's show...and I'm kind of on the sidelines".
THATS IT! I got tired of trying...so I've excused myself. 🙄 You are NOT alone! Come on January, indeed. We're all in the same boat, paddling fast to the new year.
It may be an excursion to Tucson....and if not, it's back to Philadelphia and deciding the next thing! We'll talk soon, I'm sure. 😘
I am NOT a holiday person. We were able to get out of the forced happiness march years ago. We both dreaded the stress and expectations. We hate to travel at the holidays, as we hate to fly and the northeast corridor is a nightmare to drive. Are kids are all grown and our families don’t live nearby. My adult special needs son lives nearby, but he almost always is invited somewhere to celebrate. So now we have quiet holidays at home.
Quiet and at home. ❤️❤️ Perfect. Maybe the holidays are for young people... I think older people might feel a tad left out, or sidelined and it's just too much. I've given up trying to buy the perfect gift, wrap it nicely, and hope they like it. All the effort, not much to show for it. SO-life is just too short. My friend and I here in Anchorage will do a seafood feast and stay in... she has to be at the hospital the next day anyway. (She's a doc) You definitely need to visit Alaska. I'm in awe.Big walks in the snow, mountains. It's heaven!
So lovely to be Jewish this time of year. Hanukkah is a piece of cake compared to Xmas. But preparing for Passover is like multiplying Xmas times twenty
Alice...I get it. Later in life, I dated a Jewish man for awhile, met a great rabbi, and I converted! So I understand exactly what you're talking about! 👍
It's a joy to see your post today. I'm glad you are weathering the holidays in such a beautiful place. I used to call them the "hellidays". I'm on my fourth year of it being just me and the cats. A bit lonely yeah, but damned if it isn't a whole lot more peaceful and less stressful. Beats the toxic nightmare any day, plus all the great food I cook is mine, and some turkey for the kitties of course.
Hellidays! Thats awesome! 😂😂😂 I'll be stealing that! I think what's so important is emotional self care this time of year. Be good to yourself and dont do anything that doesnt bring you joy. (((hugs))) ✌️
I just want the holidays to go bye bye. I share your sentiments down to the MAGA brother and family. I am worried about Medicare and SS and soooooo much more just going poof! Disappearing like Santa Claus up the chimney My family Christmas’ were also the best ever - like yours. . . . I live for Dec 26th. . . Deep breaths for the weeks ahead. . . Ho no ho.
Your airport is very nice, Anne! Thats where I had to connect! Yes, living in a blue state has definite advantages...I wish I move the farm outta Missouri!
Ho no ho. I am VERY concerned about Medicare and SS. If they do that, people will die. I firmly believe that. And I feel super grateful to my friend for having me for an extended stay in Alaska. It's exactly where I need to be to hide out. And I saw TWO moose on the way to the grocery store this morning. 😂 Adventure time! Hang in there Anne!!
If this deconverted childless dog lady atheist had a non-dysfunctional extended family, I might fly back to the midwest and join in. But I do not have the temperament. My Trump loving stepdad and brother love him. My brother is an evangelical Christian, etc., etc. My sisters have their own families, live closer, and wisely see our parents in small doses. Similar to you, childhood Christmases were happy because of my grandparents and I am forever grateful to them for loving me and making their home a safe place for me. Your old xmas photos look a lot like mine. I appreciate your post so much. I find forced merriment difficult and depressing. My dog and I will be here alone, and I just try to make the time between now and around mid January go away without noticing. We go forth we go forth. Happy hellidays from L.A.
Ah, Jules....I am SO with you! I have a friend whose chant this time of year is "COME ON JANUARY!" 😂 So, instead let's be good to ourselves this time of year... sort of our personal spa season. HA!
Love it. “The forced march to happiness.” Noooo shit.
Alaska is it? Sounds awesome. 😎
An extended stay with a friend who lives here....holy crap. This place is magic!
And...it's a very appropriate term to describe this time of year. 🙄 ✌️
Bears, and moose, and bald eagles oh my! 👍😎
I’m so glad you’re still in Alaska! Didn’t realize it was long term! Hope you’ve a neat air B&B or good friends to stay with. I hear you Susan… I feel it too. It’s a kind of grief for all those happy times, our grandparents and Santa, my kids when they were little. When Thksg had its own month, own respect! Your old photos took me back… so much like the ones I have. My son is handling 🦃day and my daughter and fam will probably visit for Christmas. Joyful but stressful. I don’t do gifts or stockings anymore. They’re all grown up…the magic is gone! That’s what I miss the most. Keep pampering your well being, keep some hope, enjoy Alaska, keep writing, dear friend! Much love to you!🥰❤️
JOAN! I'm glad I'm not alone. My good (and much younger) friend landed her first job outta medical school in Anchorage as a colorectal surgeon. I'm "hiding out" here till the end of the year. When I lived in Philly, she lived across the hall...she helped me every step of the way when Tim got so sick. I treasure her. She understands about the holidays as well.
Funny you mentioned stockings..I used to love to hunt for the things that went in them...and always a toothbrush and toothpaste...the running joke. But honestly, my daughter has her kids and husband and they are all so busy, I hardly ever see them. While that bothers me, I know I'm not the only person at my age who feels a bit sidelined. So I've decided to make my own adventures. Who knows what next year will bring! Let's go to Italy! HUGS TO YOU, JOAN! Much love back!
Yes! I’m in! Won’t even have to get Christmas decor out…bonus! Love your attitude…make your own kind of holiday! Life is supposed to be an adventure…get as many as you can, girl! I love that your friend is Colorectal surgeon…come full circle from losing your Tim…what a story that could be!
I am more of a grinch than you, Susan. I want the endless, wasteful, tacky, tasteless, gaudy lights BANNED. Those displaying them receive a heavy fine and their removal and destruction.
I want the Christmas music to be limited to the Grinch that stole Christmas and Bing Crosby.
I want the entire narrative of Santa Claus gone. It is a subconscious plant on the part of organized religion. To get you to believe and have faith and things that don't exist.
Being the so called celebration of Christ birth, there should be zero retail activity associated with it. Especially the retail of worthless, planet killing shiny plastic junk. I'm positive that's what Christ would do.
I'll just stop there before I alienate myself from every possible social circle on the platform. I'm pretty sure everyone in the room understand where I'm coming from anyway .....😜
If nothing else, just stop with the lights, please ??🙏
I know you won't be able to refrain from Amazon Walmart, just give me that one thing 🤞🏻
I'd be happy with just a huge feast of home cooked food. Everyone bring a dish and share it. I'm so over all the fake and forced holiday crap. And yes....the garish lights and massive yard displays. JUST STOP!
I second that!!!
Brilliant. You should be the chairman of the Christmas committee!!!
I say that in all sincerity. I should've followed my advice. I am always espousing "simplicity is elegance."
Never more so.
And at that huge feast, we'll splurge on a good bottle of something. 😂😂 Simple is definitely best!
I got you covered!!! There are almost 3000 bottles in my uncles cellar and he had to quit. 89 years old and seriously labor damage.
All he did was share with everyone anyway. He said "well you can all have it at when I died so there's not much difference ." 🤣
"Liver"
I doubt if my future is in editing. At least you already know, PR didn't send me ....
HA! I figured thats what you meant!
Someone once said that the times are so intense that I rarely see anyone fall asleep in church anymore! It’s sad to admit that, even though I have lots to be thankful for, I dread the months of November and December too! I start my dreadful attitude when I see Christmas displays in June and July! Just a bit premature if you ask me! I suppose the word I’d use is commercialized! Guess I won’t win the Norman Vincent Peale award this year again!
It's ridiculous to see holiday stuff that early! It's totally commercialized...always about the money. I agree! :)
Great minds do think alike, right? Enjoy your trip and get a good dose of renewal! I admit I need an IV of it hooked up to my arm! 💚
Will do! Keep writing please! The therapy is wonderful!
Hang in there. January is not far off!!
That was so special- to remember all of that so many years ago - and those pictures! Sweet
Thank you Dave...I do realize how lucky I am to have all these photos. My grandparents had so many and I scanned almost all of them to preserve for future generations. They may not be interested in them now, but perhaps someday, it will be a valuable connection.
I hope your holidays go smoothly!! :)
We had the crazy idea to host 12?!? friends and family for Christmas last year.
I wrote about it. Names are changed to protect the innocent/guilty.
🎄🎄🎄
HOLIDAY HYSTERIA
(or, Why Is Everything Sparkly and Why Am I Sweating?)
.
Turkey's in the oven, but WAIT - forgot the stuffing!
While Pinterest moms are posting pics that leave me huffing
Their perfect crafted centerpieces mock my soul
While my hot glue gun just made a burning hole
.
DECK THE HALLS WITH MASSIVE PRESSURE
FA LA LA LA LA, WHERE'S MY TRESEMMÉ?!
Gotta host THREE parties, each one better
Than my cousin Sarah's soirée
.
The gift list grows like magic overnight
Little Timmy wants a PS5
But they're sold out across five states
And Amazon Prime's delivery dates?
TOO LATE, TOO LATE, TOO LATE!
.
Mother-in-law's coming, quick - hide the takeout boxes!
Spritz some cookie smell spray, throw some bread in there
She thinks I bake from scratch (HA!) wouldn't that be fair?
But Betty Crocker's my best friend, along with wine and socks-es
.
Calendar's packed tighter than a Christmas ham
School plays! Work parties! Secret Santa scam!
"Just bring a small dish" they say with glee
Then show up with a SEVEN-COURSE FEAST, OH GEE!
.
But somewhere in this tinsel tornado
Between the wrapping paper and the mistletoe
I'm laughing 'cause it's beautifully insane
This glitter-covered, sugar-cookie strain
Of trying to make magic in our mundane
.
So pass the eggnog, crank up Mariah
Let's embrace this festive pariah
Of expectations gone berserk
'Cause that's what makes the memories work!
.
*screams into holiday throw pillow*
"Calendar's packed tighter than a Christmas ham" 😂😂
YOU GOT IT! Thank you Gloria.... 👏👏👏👏 That was superb and right on the money.
*screams into holiday throw pillow*---- YES! I've done that! There wasnt enough wine to get me through all the crazy! Love you!!
When did we make Thanksgiving and Christmas into a war zone of crimes and regrets?
THIS YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT IF I HAVE TO THROTTLE SOMEBODY.
merry christmas, darlin’
🇨🇽
Hugs back, dear one.
I'm purposely as far away as I can be....Alaska is a great place to hide!
Love to you and Crystal. ❤️❤️
Susan Niemann: This will be my 76th Xmas -- gets kinda old.
Actually, even as a practicing, lifelong Catholic, my values are increasingly secular and pagan moral.
Armando doesn't care for any holidays, period.
Armando loves to engage with people he loves; to listen to classical music or jazz; to look at great art (e.g., Jacob Lawrence); to read philosophy and literature (mainly in German).
But with people I love, I can spend all year with no holidays.
I love your photos, and feel sorrow and empathy that grew up in a household with fear. I am very glad for your love with Tim, even as I miss him.
You are such a giving, sharing, empathic person, that I am so happy to meet, even on a platform, where our friendship grows.
I’m glad you understand. There is joy to be had 365 days a year, not just one day… travel helps me. It’s stimulating, yet also calming. And, I have such good memories of precious grandparents who loved me so deeply. It’s our connections to each other and the world that truly bind us! Thanks for being here. I appreciate it. 💙💙
Susan Niemann: 'Stack has its faults, many of them, BUT 'Stack has mediated my acquiring so many good friends, near the top of which is you.
You not only share the core values, but you have deep love and empathy and inner goodness that makes me treasure friendship with you, in the hope sometime to meet.
Beautiful post with sad details 😢 Don't worry about Christmas 2024. Mrs. Santa is sending you a cozy present from California next week via The North Pole. The Canadian postal strike is a minor glitch 😳 😅 Enjoy the wilds of Alaska! It's so mind-clearing and gorgeous 😍 ✨️ 💕
Thank you Linda! It is mind clearing for sure. A great escape! 💙💙💙
I was wondering if you were in Alaska. I'm so glad to hear you're putting feet up and chilling. I've spent a great deal of time in the mountains of Colorado at my daughter's place. I love when I can walk through a cloud. And the wildlife. Cool beans.
Your story is very nostalgic. I miss my Italian grandmother and her amazing cooking. We had big family Christmases. Dad usually got drunk and knocked the tree over every year. This year I'm having my immediate family all together. One is coming for two weeks. It's been a rough year of shit hitting the fan. Years of asshole behaviors has come to an end. I want grace, forgiveness, and kindness to be on their lips towards each other. Or I'm going to loose my shit. Christ on cracker.
I'm not ever watching the news again. I can barely read it anymore. I'm going to focus on these goddamn tangled tree lights for now. And do some fucking yoga to chill the fuck out. My therapist suggested it.🤣🤣🤣 I'm happy you're in a good place. Love you 😍 💗
😂😂 Ah, my sister! It is absolutely fucking time for everyone to start being cool. I know I've had enough. Alaska is where my doctor friend from Philly landed a job...we were neighbors when she was in residency and helped me with Tim when he was so sick. SWe've been friends ever since and this is the perfect place for me to escape. So, your dad got drunk and know kid over the tree?🤦♀️ GIRL...save that story. We gotta lot to talk about! 😘 Love ya! And thanks!
Such a lovely text, Susan, thanks. To your memory, I will add midnight church. I was no longer Christian by middle school but even as an adult, I always enjoyed the fellowship of the beautiful service, sanctuary and choir, and especially that whole "Silent Night" idea of the quiet sublime.
I've spent so much time trying to figure out why the holidays are such a sentence now. The only good holidays for me were as a mom with all the control. Now, it's someone else's show (my kids and their kids) and I'm kind of on the sidelines. I should be ok with that but somehow, it still feels like an arms race that I can't pass up, because of some weird ideas about my grandkids' memories. It feels good to read your readers' comments, at least I'm not alone. So I offer one of my most-used aphorisms to this great community: COME ON JANUARY!!! (Ok, January 1-19.)
Except for January 20!
"Now, it's someone else's show...and I'm kind of on the sidelines".
THATS IT! I got tired of trying...so I've excused myself. 🙄 You are NOT alone! Come on January, indeed. We're all in the same boat, paddling fast to the new year.
It may be an excursion to Tucson....and if not, it's back to Philadelphia and deciding the next thing! We'll talk soon, I'm sure. 😘
Oops! Forgot to say, enjoy YOUR holidays, Susan! Alaska is a bucket list item!
I am NOT a holiday person. We were able to get out of the forced happiness march years ago. We both dreaded the stress and expectations. We hate to travel at the holidays, as we hate to fly and the northeast corridor is a nightmare to drive. Are kids are all grown and our families don’t live nearby. My adult special needs son lives nearby, but he almost always is invited somewhere to celebrate. So now we have quiet holidays at home.
Quiet and at home. ❤️❤️ Perfect. Maybe the holidays are for young people... I think older people might feel a tad left out, or sidelined and it's just too much. I've given up trying to buy the perfect gift, wrap it nicely, and hope they like it. All the effort, not much to show for it. SO-life is just too short. My friend and I here in Anchorage will do a seafood feast and stay in... she has to be at the hospital the next day anyway. (She's a doc) You definitely need to visit Alaska. I'm in awe.Big walks in the snow, mountains. It's heaven!
ENJOY your holidays, Sally. ✌️🎅
So lovely to be Jewish this time of year. Hanukkah is a piece of cake compared to Xmas. But preparing for Passover is like multiplying Xmas times twenty
Alice...I get it. Later in life, I dated a Jewish man for awhile, met a great rabbi, and I converted! So I understand exactly what you're talking about! 👍
Yay!! Blessings to you and yours. Happy Hanukkah 🕎
It's a joy to see your post today. I'm glad you are weathering the holidays in such a beautiful place. I used to call them the "hellidays". I'm on my fourth year of it being just me and the cats. A bit lonely yeah, but damned if it isn't a whole lot more peaceful and less stressful. Beats the toxic nightmare any day, plus all the great food I cook is mine, and some turkey for the kitties of course.
Hellidays! Thats awesome! 😂😂😂 I'll be stealing that! I think what's so important is emotional self care this time of year. Be good to yourself and dont do anything that doesnt bring you joy. (((hugs))) ✌️
I just want the holidays to go bye bye. I share your sentiments down to the MAGA brother and family. I am worried about Medicare and SS and soooooo much more just going poof! Disappearing like Santa Claus up the chimney My family Christmas’ were also the best ever - like yours. . . . I live for Dec 26th. . . Deep breaths for the weeks ahead. . . Ho no ho.
You are in the right place. I am in the Seattle area which is practically near Alaska!! Ha!
Feeling so grateful and a little safer to be living in such a strong blue💙state. It helps some . . .
Your airport is very nice, Anne! Thats where I had to connect! Yes, living in a blue state has definite advantages...I wish I move the farm outta Missouri!
Ho no ho. I am VERY concerned about Medicare and SS. If they do that, people will die. I firmly believe that. And I feel super grateful to my friend for having me for an extended stay in Alaska. It's exactly where I need to be to hide out. And I saw TWO moose on the way to the grocery store this morning. 😂 Adventure time! Hang in there Anne!!