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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ – ✧) 𝕊𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕊𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕟 has a ring to it, yes!

Somehow, people who need to be heard have an innate sense of finding an empathetic listener. I hear you! The empaths among us serve the greater good opening our ears and hearts to those in stress even if it's of their own creation.

Woof, it can be exhausting.

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕗𝕦𝕝 𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕪, 𝕊𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Exhausting is right, Dana. After being around people, listening to their stories, or even if it's just out shopping.... I instinctively retreat into a quiet space. Recharging.

Thank you... now if you'll excuse me, I have a fitting for a new "habit". 🤣🙏

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

😇😙😝😝😝

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Armand Beede's avatar

Susan Niemann: The kitty has the exact, right sentiment! LOL!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HA! 😂😂 I laughed when I saw that!

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Geoff Anderson's avatar

As a capital 'I' introvert, this is my secret to success:

"Early in my agency career, someone much wiser told me to ask people about their lives… kids, hobbies, pets, etc, to put them at ease before a video interview. It worked. Most folks typically love to talk about themselves."

It works, and it makes you seem human. If you ever see someone who doesn't do this, you can bet they have a lack of trust and respect of their peers.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

When in doubt, get people to talk about themselves. Works every time!

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Hippie Dippie Shelbel's avatar

I absolutely love this, Susan! You are an incredible listener, with a kind and empathetic heart and boatloads of wisdom. I am so blessed to have your ear in my times of need. Love you! 🌈💜✨

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Susan Niemann's avatar

It was love at first sight, wasn't it!? 😂 I'm so glad we met. 😘😘😘

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Fernie's avatar

As a cosmetologist and a nurse I do know all about listening but NOW, I think it is time to speak and say what is on your mind and believe me there is plenty to talk about. We all have plenty of concerns and the only way through them is to talk about them even if no one is listening just to clear our minds.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Talking through the issues is very cathartic for sure!! There is almost too much to talk about! 😬

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JoJene Mills's avatar

Heard!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂

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Monica P.'s avatar

Listening and hearing go hand in hand with what my father used to say often to my mom. “Think before you open your mouth and say something”.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Wise advice from your father. 💙💙

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Susan Niemann's avatar

OMG! Timing!!

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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

Right?

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Nightmaher's avatar

My husband used to say You must have a sign on you that says “Talk to me”because no matter where we go there is someone who wants you to listen to them no matter where we are or what we’re doing.

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

Great essay, Susan. You know me and my big mouth too. We always get off topic when we’re at lunch, but I think off topic can be fun with friends.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

You are a great listener Sharon. When I'm around you I always feel better about myself.

Off topic isnt the same as listening... and you and I get to see each other so seldomly we have a lot of ground to cover! 😂😂

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

PS: Who is the source for "Listening is one of the loudest forms of kindness"?

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I couldn't find a source... it's attributed to "anonymous" so whoever that is, I'd love to buy them a drink!

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

Same! Part of me was hoping you’d written it. In any case, I’d like to use it in one of my Monday Quote pieces. Thanks!

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

Right on, Susan. You hit the proverbial nail on the head. Even worse is when people interrupt, which I cannot tolerate. As in, my ex: I started interrupting his interruptions with, "Excuse me for talking while you were interrupting." Uh, wut?

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HA! Thats good! I'll remember that!

(this must be one of the reasons he's an ex...we'll have to share stories sometime! 🤣)

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

💯 Reason #3,467 😆

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL!!

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Kay-El's avatar

I try hard not to do any of the unhelpful things (sometimes failing), but I also listen and try not to offer solutions….. unless you’ve complained to me about the same thing eleventy zillion times.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HA! If someone complained eleventy zillion times, and they still didnt get it, then they're not listening! 😂 *sigh People!

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Kay-El's avatar

Seriously

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Carol L. Clark's avatar

I wonder where I've been because I haven't seen your work in awhile. Lovely piece, Susan. We are all that we have. Blessings.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Thanks Carol... humanity needs a checkup. Better listening is such an elementary way to start being a healthier species! Thanks for being here!

PS. are you a subscriber or do you just find me? Substack algorithms are messing with small writers like me and others, so sign up if you havent already! Have a great weekend!

💙💙✌️

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Carol L. Clark's avatar

I checked and I am a subscriber from long ago. I have been away from Substack for the last 2 months. I invaded LinkedIn to start up political discussions in between the ads for whoever is selling what and now it’s mostly AI. So far, there are about 300 people or so who “like” and even contribute now and it is quite healthy. There are those who object from the business side but politics of this magnitude are NEVER to be ignored. Recently, MAGAs have begun their own invasion. I need some visibilility besides Substack to make a living and, as I have no references for my newest career as a writer, my focus has been to become visible and build a portfolio. So that’s where I’ve been. I’ve also looked at Patreon a few times to see if I want to join there.

I’ve heard the same complaint you raise about algorithms. Substack, among others, seems to be the go-to for journalists who’ve parted from their media jobs and the carousel of Substackers everyday is endless. Plus, so many people are now doing podcasts. What I don’t see in those carousels are names like yours and others I read from the beginning.

I will look for your work because it is so decent, so humane and, frankly, kind-hearted. Those qualities are in short supply these days.

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Charles Austin's avatar

I have a bad habit of jumping in too quickly when I should shut the Hell up and listen. I'm aware of it and try to hold my tongue. Sometimes people just need to air things out. If we all listened more and talked less, we'd be better off. Another day in the heat. But I'm home now. Have a great day!😃❤️😘

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh, Charlie...I understand. I'm a "fixer"! Sometimes people don't want to be fixed. Glad you're outta the heat, by the way. My bro and I did some years work, weeding and the like, and by the end of it, we could wring the sweat out of our t-shirts. JFC! (That first, post-shower beer never tasted so good! 😂)

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

You’re right about Susan, she is very kind, and she spreads joy wherever she goes.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh, Sharon. 😭🙏

Thank you.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LinkedIn... lotsa ego over there! I dip a toe in because I do some messaging for a client there.

I really appreciate your kind words, Carol. You've made my day. The Substack platform is changing. They want to make room for the major players to increase revenue at the expense of smaller writers. And TOO many podcasts and videos. I delete them immediately...there just isn't enough time. I read faster than I can listen.

Look at Ghost, too, as a platform. 😘

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Carol L. Clark's avatar

Happy to make your day. Thank you for mentioning Ghost. I'll look into it. Agreed that there is much ego on LinkedIn. It's an interesting place. Perhaps I'll get some work there when I can afford the premium subs.

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Richard's avatar

I agree with you 100%!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Thanks Richard! ✌️

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Richard's avatar

Your welcome!

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Shelby Schneider's avatar

Good morning, Susan! And thank you for this! I have to work really hard at listening well! My brain wants to jump in and say “ I get it” way too soon! And yes I get distracted too quick too. Going to practice s l o w I n g down my response reaction starting today! Definitely a life long important quality and skill to cultivate.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh, we all do! Once a friend was lamenting to me about something and I offered her a solution-she snapped at me and said: "SUSAN! I don't need you to fix this for me." That made real impact and ever since, I've tried to NOT do that!

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Shelby Schneider's avatar

That would be me…and I don’t always realize that’s what I’m doing!!❤️

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